Here’s how I helped 5 women who were desperately trying…and failing, to get pregnant.
The first woman I treated for infertility issues was one of my closest friends. I had taken two trainings on uterine and abdominal massage specifically for fertility and menstruation support and wanted to help her and her husband. They had been trying to get pregnant for over a year. They stopped taking precautions and were using the fertility awareness method, acupuncture, and supplements in order to get pregnant. It wasn’t working. They wanted a child so badly, and the fact that they hadn’t been successful was very emotional for them. She and her husband both got tested to see if either one of them was incapable of making babies (standard fertility workup). They found that the husband was fine, but the wife had Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Endometriosis. The fertility doctor gave them a 1% chance of conceiving per cycle, without intervention.
By the time I worked on my friend, she and her husband were considering in vitro treatments. My friend’s challenge was purely physiological, but it had a very real emotional aspect. When your partner is able to make life, and it’s your body creating the obstacle to fulfilling your mutual life dream of having a family, it can be downright depressing. On one of my visits with her, we talked through all of this and I did some hands-on work to released her hips, belly, and uterus. She also saw another practitioner friend who did some somatic work with her the next week. A few weeks later, she informed me she was pregnant.
The emotional aspect
There are a couple of underlying snags that come into play when a woman is trying to get pregnant. Usually, the woman doesn’t know that these snags are getting in the way. Sometimes the feelings or thoughts that come up during fertility treatments with me are a surprise to them. When they get the time and loving presence they need to express themselves about their ability to get pregnant, they usually cry. During this release, my hands are on their belly, and as soon as the tears flow, I feel their belly become warm and soft. There is give in the tissue and my hands sink gently down, connecting with an energetic flow that feels poignant and almost electrical with pent up emotion. When I put my hands on a woman’s belly, with the intention of finding her connection to her own ability to build a little human, I can feel the energetic layers of thoughts, emotions and physical tension. The intuitive part of me receives information. I can discern the quality of the energy there, and I usually know what types of thoughts are holding them back or creating pain in their relationship with themselves. Each and every woman I’ve done fertility work with has questions or uncertainties about her ability to get pregnant, about her validity as a woman. Sometimes they can’t picture themselves pregnant, or with a child. If they’ve been trying unsuccessfully for a while, they feel like a failure. They don’t believe in themselves. They question their femininity. These are deep-reaching beliefs and have an unconscious effect on the body. They are often at the core of the fertility issue.
Another woman I worked with had a life-goal of being a mom and had been failing to become pregnant for almost two years. She had a heart-wrenching miscarriage that stopped her and her husband in their tracks for a while. A year later, they were ready to try again. By the time I worked on her for fertility, she was almost frozen in fear. She had started to think she would never have a child. I said, “Marjorie [not her real name], are you open to adopting?” She said yes, she and her husband had talked about it. “Ok,” I said, “Then no matter what happens, you will have children. No matter whether they are adopted or from your body, they will be yours and you will love them. There is no possibility that you won’t have children”. She started to cry. “You’re right”. She said. I led her through visualization of her holding her child. Of her loving this little person, of them laughing together. As she cried, her entire body relaxed. She started to smile and the tears were of joy. I was then able to do the gentle hands-on work to release her uterus and abdomen. She got pregnant within the two weeks that followed her treatment.
I always send my fertility clients home with homework. I ask them to lay in bed before falling asleep at night, with their hands on their belly. Their assignment is to breathe into space under their hands and honor any emotions that come up. I ask them to forgive themselves in those moments and to practice believing in their own ability to make life. They use visualization, affirmations, and presence to continue the healing process that we start in their session. They leave my office with a sense of gratitude, self-awareness, and purpose. I have started them on the path of healing and given them the gift of belief, but they are the ones who will continue on the path. They are the true healers.
The physiological and physical aspects
The second piece to this healing work is the hands-on release of old tension patterns. I’ve found that each of the women I’ve helped to get pregnant had long-standing hip tension issues. When I work on them, I find that the ligaments of their uterus are significantly tighter on one side. Their uterus is either tilted or twisted. They’ve had hip and low back tension for years or decades, which pulls the bones out of whack. Or, the bones are out of alignment first, and a muscle tension pattern sets in. The uterus, like all of our other organs, hangs from our bone structure. If the bones and muscles of the hips, abdomen and low back are imbalanced, then so is the uterus. If the uterus is imbalanced, then it is not receiving the blood flow, oxygenation, nutrition and hydration that it needs to be able to function to its full capacity. The nerves and veins that go to the uterus wrap themselves around the uterine ligaments that connect the uterus to the bones (the ligaments are the bridge between the rest of the body and the organs). If those ligaments are tight, then the veins and nerves are tight and compromised. They don’t stimulate the organ efficiently. And, because of the tension, those nerves are under physical pressure for years or even decades and are succumbing to acidity and deteriorating. As they deteriorate, their functionality deteriorates with them. They are less able to stimulate the organ to work properly. See my article on alkalinity: https://raisethebarwellness.com/blogs/health-blog/our-bodies-are-healthiest
My last story about the fertility work I’ve done is probably the most amazing experience I’ve had in this regard. This particular woman (let’s call her Abbey) started trying to get pregnant five years before she came to me. They had no luck the first year, so she went to see her gynecologist. Long story short, she had cystic fibrosis and had a grapefruit-sized cyst in her uterus that was keeping her from getting pregnant. She needed surgery to remove the cyst. Tearfully, she accepted the possibility that she would never bear children. She went through with the surgery, and after two years they started trying again, to no avail. They worked with a fertility doctor and had paid for two in vitro fertilizations, neither of which had worked. They were starting to consider a third attempt. These are very, very expensive procedures and had taken up a large portion of their income over the previous few years. As I laid my hands on her belly, I felt her emptiness. Her desire for a child had gone way beyond its time. Her longing had become cynical, empty, sad. The motherly love within her lay reaching out for the child she had not been able to have for so long that it had become numb desperation. I laid my hands on her belly. I gently released her uterus. I called up the emotions lying dormant there and talked to her about how powerful she is. I helped her honor her body, to thank it. After years of feeling anger and disappointment toward her body, the tears came. She started to feel hope.
I didn’t hear from Abbey for 3 months. I finally got a text message from her. She wanted to set up a massage. She said nothing about the fertility appointment or what effect it had had on her. I had a vision while I was texting with her, of her walking into my office with a big round belly. I said nothing. When she came in to see me, she sat on the couch. She was silent for a minute, looking at the floor. I stood patiently waiting for her to tell me how she was. “I’m pregnant…three months this week,” she said. We stood looking at each other in the silence that followed. This is the first time I cried in front of a client. I couldn’t help it. She cried too.
We have so much power. Some say we can create or heal disease with our minds. I also believe that we can keep ourselves from getting pregnant. I believe that we can also create life, if we first heal our emotions and our beliefs about ourselves. We are more powerful than we know. Sometimes, we just need someone to tell us that we are. We need to remember. We need to love our bodies, we need to let go of our grief. And we need to visualize our happiest wishes into reality.
Belief has the same power as disbelief. Disbelief brings with it grief, frustration, anger, sometimes resentment. These emotions take a lot of energy to produce and feed. Belief brings with it faith, joy, love, knowing. These emotions are a release of energy. They are a glowing sun, they are an opening of possibility. When we consider pregnancy, disbelief or self-hatred can take valuable energy away from the body, when the body is trying to make life. And belief, it can bring forth the energy we need to make miracles.