A New Kind of Winning

Posted by Melissa Milne on

Learning to See What We are Not Looking For.

I see the future coming.
Sometimes, I see the past. Or other timelines. Stories that no one has told. Or stories that have been told but not believed.

There is much we are not ready to hear. Information that we silently beg for, but when it comes time to know, we don’t want to. The human race has been reaching for more information for centuries. When strange answers come, we cower from them. We say it must not be so. We turn away. We watch movies to push the real truths to the background, and believe in things that couldn’t be real, because…well, they’re in the movies.

We’re so good at this: setting up layers of reality. We have the daily truths of what happens around us. On the sidelines of that, we have our intuition, whispering, and nudging. On the screens we put in front of our faces, we have a whole other layer… Our power is lost somewhere between the three: what we see, what we know, and what we create as truth.

A psychic tarot card reader told me last year: “You have the gift of truth. You have things to say to people that they don’t always want to hear”. A definition of my claircognizance could not have been better stated. I see a connection between things, ideas, people, past, future, timelines, that many cannot. I always have and started making trouble by speaking my truth when I was just a child. I was the sibling screaming at my family to stop fighting while my siblings stood there silent. I was the one who wrote letters to my mom detailing the things I wanted her to change because she was harming our family (and me) with her habits. I was the one who openly asked: “You know you’re an alcoholic, right?” I assure you, no one wanted to hear my truths. But I spoke up anyway. I couldn’t help it.

That impulse to speak the truth has been with me always. People who hide from themselves have a hard time being around me. On a good day, this ‘gift’ has made me a fierce healer and adversary. Because of its consistent whispers, I know the time is coming for people to know more of the truth. Even as we all push it away, I feel us crying out for it at the same time. We have confused the flow of abundance, and so we keep getting a mixed bag of results from our wishes (the ones we know we’re making, and those we don’t). The bi-product is anger and frustration. The only key, the only solution, is to become more conscious of our thoughts, wishes, and actions.

True magic comes from aligned thoughts.

In our movies, magicians, medicine women and witches speak words of power. We think it’s the words that make magic happen, but they are only a point of anchor. The intentions behind the words are where the power is: Beliefs. Conscious intentions. Visualization. The things we shy away from. Internally, we argue ourselves into confused circles and meanwhile forget the meaning: We wish for peace and show anger, wondering why we cannot stop fighting. We wish for connection and understanding, but do not accept another’s lack of agreement with our ideals. We are split down the middle, and so it takes us centuries, millennia, to move forward. We must have a war on our way to peace. We must have separation on our way to unity. Perhaps what we fear most is mediocrity, not death. We would rather argue, feel confusion, anger, atrocity, and repugnance than feel nothing. And so we create a divine tug of war in our daily lives. We take on jobs even while our gut says “Don’t take this job”. We move to places that don’t feel right. We say things we don’t mean, out of anger. We watch the tug of war on the news, we make movies and write books about it. I’ve begun to think we enjoy it…


Look: Life is not about excitement. It is not about separation. It is not about adrenaline and winning.

While we look at the pretty shiny things, the truth lays quietly just behind us, waiting to be noticed. True peace will not look or feel like fireworks. True winning will not feel like euphoria. Any of us who have ever allowed someone we love to win an argument with us know what true winning is: It’s losing, sometimes, for the sake of connection. For the sake of watching someone, you love to feel joy. True winning is letting go of the prize so you can feel connected to the crowd instead of standing out. True peace is the absence of having anything to argue about. Having nothing to argue about means learning to pay attention to what we have to agree on, not what line of logic or force of will wins an argument.

The answers are like limp handshakes. They are like learning that no one won the election, and it doesn’t matter anyway. In order to truly evolve, to truly ‘win’, we have to learn to feel the air around us instead of searching for the wind.
See, I told you: people don’t always want to hear what I have to say…

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